Over the years it seems as though there has been a secret battle of shade between single women, women in relationships and married women. I’am witness to the war of words daily via social media and real life. Married women don’t acknowledge relationships, women in relationships think married women stupidly put up with too much, married women and women in relationships think single women are miserable and single women feel they could have your man if they wanted him and some do. Do you see the spicy mess I’m describing here?
At a time where we as women should support all of these scenarios, we use these “statuses” instead to bring one another down. Why is it so hard to refrain from throwing shade at another woman’s situation? Well maybe it’s that the women who opt to do these things are unhappy in their individual situation. I truly believe anyone who focuses their energy to negatively speaking on anyone besides themselves, is truly unhappy with what they see daily in the mirror of self. You can’t possibly be a happy woman tearing down other women for the choices they make in the relationship department, or non-relationship, for that matter. I never understood how my choice to be in a relationship bothered someone who is not in one or my choice to be single bother women who are married or in a relationship. Yes, there is a “type” in every one of these categories that make me itch. I can’t stand the “I’m going to constantly reference my boyfriend or husband as my boyfriend or husband as if you all don’t know his name” types. I can’t stand the single women who swear up and down if you are in a relationship or married you are being cheated on and are insecure so you need a man by your side. So no status is flawless, each group has annoying women within it, but why lump everyone into these negative roles.
Who comes up with this stuff? Why perpetuate these things about each other? It is hurtful, believe it or not. Women who chose to be single do not want to be deemed lonely and miserable. Maybe these women truly are waiting for who they feel is the absolute best for them. Maybe some of these women are putting their concentration into career and school goals. Not being in a committed relationship does not equate to a red flag of a terrible person. Women in relationships and women who are married don not want to hear that they settled for anything because honestly how can anyone say that to someone. We don’t know that relationship and maybe that man is her form of greatness. This all goes back to sayings of just minding your own garden and if you have nothing nice to say just remain silent. Going through day to day life being judged by strangers for your personal choices is something, I feel every last one of us have had to deal with. Think before you speak because the shade can be thrown right back and yes I myself have been guilty of the shade, however it’s never too late to grow past it and rise above it. So ladies let’s congratulate each other for simply having a plan and being happy. No other comments needed!
Written By Bianca Vasquez