Via my Facebook timeline, earlier this week I posed the question “What do you love about black men and women?” Much to my chagrin, only one non-black male responded to my question. Of course the other answers came from black men and women and to be honest, I already know for the most part why we love each other. I know why a black man adores black women and vice versa. We all came from a black parent and well if you have love for all they did for you, I’m sure you have a bevy of reasons why you love the black man and the black woman. I was fishing for answers from my non-black friends, and as I should have expected the answers were not present. I’ve seen many people that I went to high school with on up to college associates outside the black race dating us and even having children with us. I know Caucasian women and Latinas who have had children by only African-American men. In my opinion a child is one of the biggest gifts you could give someone, so why a black man? What about a black man-made you say he is father material, boyfriend material or even husband material? Those were the answers I was looking for. As a black woman and having black brothers, I would love to know what makes someone outside of our race interested in us, even love us. What attributes make you want to start families with us? My biggest fear is that people outside of the black community involve themselves with us because of sexual fantasies they may want fulfilled or for the novelty of stereotypes they feel we will somehow satisfy. There is much more to us than our looks and what we could potentially fill for you in the bedroom. We have a level a strength that not too many people can say they have. Our hustle is unmatched, considering many of us have indeed started from the bottom. We are well-rounded, you can see black people just about anywhere you go. We can go from an art gallery speaking on how a work of art has moved us right over to a Migos concert telling you how the Culture album is truly for our culture. We are an amazing group of parents who teach our children all of the things they need to know living in the world as a black man or woman. We love hard, we are emotional and we are vulnerable. We crave the understanding from our counterparts. I’m not saying someone who is non-black couldn’t understand our everyday struggles, I want to know what makes non-blacks want to understand. What makes someone of another background want to love us. I will be the first to say that loving us is not easy. Black people are plagued with so many issues and some confusion on our roles in romantic relationships. It takes true understanding, patience and love to want to work through the rough patches with us. Black men are constantly taught to be overly masculine and emotionless which can in turn make it hard to open up and be vulnerable. Black women are taught how to survive without a man in our corner, which can sometimes make it hard for us to allow a man to genuinely be everything we need and want. Heavy and deep seeded issues that plague us as a community and my curiosity has me wondering how someone outside of our community can handle genuinely loving us. This is an extremely heavy topic and it may rub some people the wrong way, however I do believe it needs to be spoken about more considering some of us are taught that outsiders could never understand our struggle and I feel that is a false statement. However, I need individuals to prove that statement wrong. I just want to ask the question one last time, what do you love about black men and women?
Written By : Bianca Vasquez